Last year Dr. Sergio Osorio poured a putrid potion throughout the pumpkin patch in his never-ending quest to breathe life into pumpkins. Our crack team of investigators has now caught wind of his latest plans. This year he literally intends to breathe life into something else!
Apparently he has created a hybrid plant combining his potion with a rare species of cannabis to create a new species of cannabis that, when burned, emanates a strain of THC that can raise the spirits of the dead! There is a cemetery near the pumpkin patch and it is thought that he might light a bonfire there in hopes of directing the spirits of those who have died into the nearby pumpkins. He wants to create more life-like pumpkins and create an entire army of Clout Jacks to take over DeSo on Halloween!
Nothing good can come from bringing back the dead. They are supposed to pass over. Those who don’t pass over typically have unfinished business here and their unpredictable temperament will only be further exacerbated upon realization of their pumpkin-like presence!
Our investigators called us from their surveillance van near the pumpkin patch after staking out Dr. Osorio's laboratory. We missed the call, but they explained his plans on our voicemail. When we finally called back however, something wasn't right. The investigators just kept stuffing their face with pizza and laughing uncontrollably. Yup, they were high as a kite! They blabbered something about locking the van doors to avoid the "Tombstoned Stiffies," but then laughed some more. So it appears Dr. Osorio's plan is already underway. If he was successful, the next wave of Clout Jacks could walk through the door at any moment. Yes, evil, walking pumpkins! There’s no time to mess around with careful captures for further study this year. This time around, we need to capture them dead or alive!
Grab a battle axe, a pitchfork, a crossbow, whatever you can find to take down these jarring jack-o-lanterns. It's time to stand strong and pump your body bags with pumpkins! What will you use to take down Clout Jacks?
Grab your pumpkin seed phrase and log in to the DeSo blockchain to join the fight!
(Oct. 17, 2022) Interview with Jody Bossert and Przemyslaw Dygdon on the Krassensteins' Show.
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